Some People Think That Youngsters Should Get Involved In Community Work | Band 9 IELTS Essay Sample
Some people think that youngsters should get involved in unpaid work, while others oppose as it may affect their career. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include and relevant examples.
Here is a band 9 essay on this topic. Need help with writing? Get your writing samples corrected by me.
Band 9 IELTS essay sample
People have different opinions about whether youngsters should get involved in unpaid social work. While some insist that it is beneficial for young people, others argue that it will hurt their career prospects. In my opinion, it certainly makes sense for youngsters to engage in some kind of community work during their free time; however, they should not allow the volunteering to take their focus off their career goals.
Young people reap many benefits when they engage in unpaid work for the underprivileged sections of the society. This allows them to see the various aspects of life and when they realize that many people around them do not even have the basic necessities of life, they will learn to count their blessings. In addition, volunteering is a great opportunity to acquire valuable work experience. They can mention these stints in their resume when it is time to apply for a job. Youngsters who have done some kind of community work are more likely to get hired than someone who has absolutely no experience of volunteering. Better still, the satisfaction that they get from doing something for the betterment of the society is immense.
On the flip side, if a youngster gives too much importance to community work, he may lose his focus on his studies. This, in turn, will hurt his career prospects. In the highly competitive job market, it is impossible to find good job opportunities if you do not have a university degree with good grades. However, not doing unpaid work is not the solution to this problem. Rather, youngsters should have a clear idea of what they want to achieve in life. They should volunteer only during their free time.
In conclusion, doing unpaid community work allows young people to gain valuable work experience and better perspectives on life; however, they must ensure that the community work does not distract them from their career goals.
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hello! please check my essay and give me a band score.
It has been said that time and care are the best gifts one can give. life is short and everyone has to die. To extend this notion of volunteering yourselves in community works is the most valuable thing anyone can do. Most of us consider unpaid community works useless and not helpful in the practical life. However, my opinion is totally different. I believe that being engaged in public works in young age is very helpful in personal grooming and the bright future.
I think voluntreeing your some time for a community has many positive effects on the life. When youngsters donate their time to the welfare of the community, they are able to see different aspects of the life. For example, the living conditions of the people living around, local social issues, regional health and education status. Understanding and solving problems of the local people is very rewarding and satisfying. To illustrate this, if you have raised funds for the water filtration plant for the local people, it can make you famous among your people and boost up your confidence. So it can never be matched by money or career.
Donating time and energies to the community will also aid the practical life. Some companies prefer those who are engaged in community works and they offer them good rank and salary. Social works also streanthens the present skills such as communication skills, ability to do work in a group and decision making. All these capabilities open vast career-making opportunities, so getting involved in unpaid welfare tasks will pay off better in the future.
To conclude, putting some efforts for the betterment of the community is the best thing one can do. Volunteering brings hope and happiness to the people but, it also leads to spitruital and personal growth. It is an experience which has no match for money and career.
This seems to be a band 6.5 essay to me.
A well-written essay. Tou will get at least 7.5 for this. Keep it up.
what should I do to improve?
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Hi, I need help to prepare my IELTS exam and I want to get 7 plus. Could you please help. I recently got 6 from my IELTS.
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Many people opine that young lads should involve in social service. In contrast, it was often criticised by few people as it may impact their career growth. In my opinion, I firmly agree with the former one. In this essay, we are going to discuss about both the views along with my personal stand.
Firstly, voluntary involvement in social service will make someone learn moral and ethical values of the system. Undoubtedly, educational matters are paramount for career growth for any student. At the same time, youngsters are the pillars of our nation. So it is extremely important to involve them with community work to make them better citizens. For instance, recent studies have revealed that people who were participated in any kind of voluntary work tend to stage more matured and systematical approach towards a problem.
On the other hand, few people are afraid that involving in such voluntary works is a distraction. Also, it may affect not only academic matters but also professional growth in long run. Many researches have often concluded that excessive participation in community work can result in discontinuing school or college life. Though it is good to be part of some charity work, there is high probability to get distracted and choose different career altogether. However, it is acceptable to do such service, once they settle in professional life with steady income. Thus, some people are not encouraging students involving community work.
By considering all the above mentioned points, it was evident that each view has its own reason for their statements. But, to me, it is very much important to learn about life rather than any other skills. It would not only make them better person but it encourage them to change the future.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
A few people think that the youngers should involved in social works, while the others think that it is not beneficial for their career. According to my perception people are engaging these practices during their free time will improve their social responsibility. However it does not interrupt them to attain their goal.
Engaging social activities will give more satisfaction to the people and this is one of the better way to understand not only how the people are living with minimum facilities but also how the people are overcome their problems. More over, some social work institutions are offering certificates to the candidates to incorporate with their resume , so it will help them to get better job opportunities. For example ,the journal of “career development” published in 2020 says that the 29 percent of the candidate who works in social welfare getting higher job than others.
on the other side, if the people are engaging more in social work , they will not get sufficient time to give an attention to their studies. So it will definitely affect their career negatively. More over, doing the social works during their free time will encourage them to pay more attention to their studies. I strongly believe that, if a person who has a strong desire to become a good successor in his career cannot stop working or cannot give attention to other areas. Each and every one should have a dream about their job , people should work according to their desire rather than the social activities. In addition , now the job market is become highly competitive, so the candidates must have eligible degree from esteemed university to compete with others. For instance , people do palliative care, most of the people are stuck on that rather than their job.
To conclude, people doing social work is the better platform to show their humanity. However, they must ensure that the volunteering should not interrupt their job career. It should not become the barrier to their life.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
what should l do to improve?
I have grammar lessons on my blog https://perfectyourenglish.com/
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It is commonly thought by some that youth ought to get an unpaid work. Others, however, claim that this can impact their future as adults. In my view, working for free could be beneficial for the teenager until they gain certain skills; however, it can harm them as adults if the free working continued for prolonged periods.
On the one hand, it is claimed by some that getting unpaid work opportunities for teens is crucial for their development. As working teaches the individual various skills such as: time management, team work, and communication skills. These skills could benefit a teenager in numerous ways. For instance, a teenager who excels in time management is able to get better grades in school and, consequently, in the future when they go to university.
On the other hand, it is thought by many that working for free will make teenagers underestimate their effort which as a result will affect their future career choices. In addition, this can be harmful for the teenager as it could expose them to exploitation and labour slavery. In some countries, youngsters are not protected by labour laws, therefore many employers take advantage of the young employees. This results in being paid minimal wages which will affect their career as they can not get paid fairly, opposing others who started working and got paid at the market average wage scale.
To conclude, although people opinions vary, in my view, for a limited period only, youth should work for free to gain the necessary skills for their future. Afterwards, youngster ought to be paid for their work in order to be able to compete in the job market in the future.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
Hi Ms Manjusha,
I will be more than happy if you please evaluate my essay and give a band score.
here is the question:
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
my response:
People have different views about whether punishments for crimes should be fixed. Even though it might be a good idea to have fixed punishments, I believe that punishing people simultaneously considering their conditions could bring more beneficial outcomes.
On the one hand, I can see three main reasons some people argue that the government should encourage fixed punishments. Firstly, it is easier for court judges to decide what kind of punishment should be exerted as the decision would be solely based on the type of crime. Secondly, such a policy could act as a fair justice system. Two criminals, for example, would be sentenced for the same period of time, which promotes equality and leaves both law breakers without any negation. Finally, “fixed penalty” policies might probably be disseminated throughout the country, thus becoming popular and well-known among people. Such awareness might effectively deter criminals from committing crimes as they would already be aware what kind of punishment they are going to be sentenced to.
On the other hand, I strongly argue that the circumstances of individuals should be taken into account and the criminal’s intention should have an impact on the punishment. Although it is true that considering more facts requires way more effort from a panel of judges, this will enable the judges to decide the best response(the type of punishment). Furthermore, this type of making decisions creates a more humane and moral system. Judges should be able to differentiate the person who breaks the law by stealing valuables to feed his family and the criminal who steals to fulfill his own greed and they should thus give a more severe punishment to the one who tried to fulfill his sinister desire.
In conclusion, despite the advantages of fixed punishments, it seems to me that each crime should be judged taking both the circumstances and motivation into account.
This is a good essay and seems band 7 to me.
Hi Manjusha,
Please evaluate my essay. thank you in advance.
question:
in some parts of the world, it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. why might people want this?
is it a positive or negative development?
My essay
In few places, people are more enthusiastic about knowing their family background. Certainly. there are so many reasons that trigger them to delve into their ancestor’s lifestyle. I believe that it is obviously a good thing to dig and know about your own family’s roots, culture, and traditions.
Firstly, people are more passionate to look into their family history in order to discover any common ability that exists between both generations. Particularly, this is among the group of people born with gifted skills and abilities, it can be interesting for few to learn how many other members in a family possessed the same qualities and how they had harnessed their power. This enables them to know their strengths and area of interest that would help them to excel in their career.
Secondly, Researches suggest that most of the diseases are related to hereditary. Eventually, more people try to focus more on their family background to identify the potential threats for them and their children’s health in the future. For instance, if a person identifies, most of his ancestors suffered from blood pressure then he takes necessary precautions in order to keep him healthy. Owing to this kind of reasons people often diving into their roots to transform themselves into better people.
Finally, in my view, it is very beneficial to mankind to know about their forefathers, their own family, and culture as it would mend their ways in good directions. For example, consider a person whose family having notorious acting and entertaining skills, by knowing the family history he can know if the same exists in him and eventually reach great heights in the area of interest.
To conclude, as knowing the family’s origin aids the people in many ways including career and health, it is important for everyone to learn it
Content was satisfactory. Grammar needs improvement. This is close to band 7.
Hi Manjusha,
I will more than happy if you give a band score and some feedback and suggestion to improve.
Question:
Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
Answer:
It is often argued that all teenagers should contribute to their communities by doing unsalaried work. I strongly disagree with this idea and believe that it serves no benefit to either young people and their societies.
I reinforce the idea that doing unpaid work afflicts young people in several ways, and I do not see the meaning of such an obligation. Also, teenagers already have a very hectic schedule. Every day, they are given school assignments, and they allocate most of their time to school already. Adding such obligatory work will bring more pressure on teenager’s shoulders, increasing the possibilities for dreary situations. Secondly, at such a young age, teens should relish the opportunity of staying young, and more time should be given to fulfilling their pleasures and enjoying life as they have a very long-term workload waiting ahead of them. My father, for instance, always regrets not going to parties or not spending considerable time doing what he enjoyed.
Likewise, society does not significantly benefit from forcing teens to work for free, and the current volunteering already suffices for helping the whole community. By further revitalizing the popularity of voluntary jobs, local communities could immensely help motivated students to stand out from the crowd and give them a chance to refine their portfolios. Such passionate teenagers could, for instance, broach their community work in their college admissions and get into higher-ranked universities by showing their passions. Also, it would be wrong to coerce teenagers to do such heavy work, especially when some of them show no interest. I gather that it would, to some extent, violate the values of free societies and could cause protests among such young people.
In conclusion, it seems to me that societies would do nothing but harm teenagers by encouraging unpaid work, and volunteering is already enough to make the community better.
This is a good essay. Seems band 7 to me.
Hi Ms Manjusha, I will be more than happy if you please evaluate my essay and give me some suggestions.
Nowadays, various kinds of community work prevail in schools ranging from primary schools to college campuses, which absorbs the attention of not only parents and tutors, but also students themselves as well. However, people look different in terms of whether to participate in volunteer work offered by the community. Some reckon that it is an extremely great idea for youngsters to perceive the meaning of life, while others don’t stand the same view, for they think doing unpaid work may distract them from their already-set career path. From my perspective, volunteering deserves the young to give it a try, but it is not appropriate to apply themselves too much to this.
For starters, handling community work offers an opportunity to feel life from the ground. One may make acquaintance with people from all walks of life and grasp the chance to learn from them. These may provide an outlet for youth to experience the world earlier before they start to explore the future. In addition, what social volunteering could guarantee is far from this, it could also create a sense of fulfillment. For example, suppose youngsters take part in community work with a commitment to helping old people get online. In that case, they will feel satisfied immensely after seeing these elders chatting with their sons and daughters, even grandsons and daughters through social media platforms. That enrichment is hardly got in ordinary life.
However, things will develop in the opposite direction when they become extreme and there is no exception for unpaid social work. Youngsters should not focus too much on this not because they do this job for free but out of the fact that it may occupy their energy and effort at study, which might deviate them from their career prospects. Indeed, engagement in volunteering work will make candidates come through in the fierce job market. But there is no need to be dedicated to this event.
To sum up, getting involved in community work will enable youngsters to experience life beyond school, but they don’t need to apply themselves to it. Once incompatible with their career goal, it is not worth spending too much time on it.
This seems band 6 to me. Both content and grammar need improvement.
It goes without saying that voluntary work teaches us valuable things .It is essential for every adult to learns practical life knowledge. However, some people feel that youngsters should be involve in unpaid social work , while others believe that It may hindrance in their career. It is certainly debatable.
On the one hand, adults must include in social work. To begin with, nowadays adults waste his time on mobile phones either watching movies, web series. they have forget values of life due to irrelevant activities. If they engage in social work they see lots of people who don’t have food, clothing , shelter.this allow them to count their blessings and better life the God given to them.
In this way they will be more capable to face every situation in life.
On the other hand , youngsters should never involves in this kind of work.because it may affect their career growth and they will not foucs on their studies. It will lead negative effect on their minds.they are not able to get better jobs. they only insist on these kinds of activities .
In conclusion, youngsters should do voluntry work but in limited way.they ensure that social working activities may not affect their future goals.
This seems band 6 to me.
At the present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
The proportion of young people is higher than older people in some nations. This has given rise to some social problems as well as issues related to generation gap. However, this has also given those nations additional workforce to develop the economy and produce surplus to take care of the unproductive population. As per my view, the advantages of having a larger young population as compared to older people brings more benifits than problems.
Young people are problematic and rebellious by nature. They tend to bend the rules and despise older tradition as their thought process does not align with those of the older generation. Because of such attitude social problems like drug abuse, vandalism, riots, and so on can rise. A research conducted by Harvard University showed that young people are 75% more likely to commit crimes than people of older age. Young adults have the urge to cause tension in the society and may end up causing problems.
On the other hand, having a larger proportion of young people means having a larger workforce to work and contribute to the economy of the country. If the proportion of young people is higher, they can work longer hours and create surplus for the dependant population to consume. For example, young people can work more efficiently and more harder because of comparatively superior physical ability thereby producing better and bigger output. The youth can work tirelessly and effectively to help lift the economy and take care of the one who cannot work themselves.
Some countries are blessed to have higher population of young people. Although the youth can cause some disruption to the social harmony, the work they put in to grow the economy and produce enough output for those who do not work is far greater. I think the advantage of having a young population are far greater than the problems that it invites.
This seems band 7 to me.
A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress.
What should people do to stay healthy in your country?
Ans
It is often said that balanced diet along with regular workout is the key to remain fit and if a person can keep a stress level low then its a major plus on top of it. This essay will elaborate the type of exercises and diet which should be followed by individuals in my country to be healthy.
Firstly, People should make a habit of regular work out as without consistency and proper form nothing can be achieved. Numerous options are available as per the capacity and body needs such as Yoga, cardio, weight lifting etc. It has been recommended that proper guidance should be taken in the beginning in order to improve posture and form. There has been incidences reported where people hurt themselves due to lack of knowledge. Same happened with one of my colleague last month where he injured himself while trying to lift heavy weight without waist belt.
Other thing which is most important to stay healthy is the proper diet. Only workout can’t make you healthy person, balanced diet has its own role. It has been said that workout contributes only 30% in order to make you fit while other 70% totally depends on your diet. You have to eat green vegetables and stay away from junk food if you want to live healthy lifestyle. Plenty of apps are available to track daily calories count, which can be used and control the excess calories intake for example FitnessPal, which can help in tracking the micro and macro nutrients of food.
To conclude, Healthy lifestyle is the need of modern world in order to remain fit and disease free. The one’s who remain calm in every situation and take control over their food and Work out habits are the one’s who will live this lifestyle.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
Hi, please evaluate my essay and give me a band what i deserve
here is the question;;
some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime . others,however argue that circumstances of an individual crime should always be taken into account when deciding the punishment. discuss these both views and give your opinion.
Initially, some people claim that before deciding the punishment , the circumstances of individual crime and motive for committing it should always be taken into a consideration . I strongly agree with this statement as environment and motive of each crime are mostly different.
In the recent context, crimes are increasing frequently which are hampering world badly. I don’t think it is wise to fix punishments for individual crime . Of course, some people who are guilty would get appropriate punishment, however; innocent ones may also have to suffer due to this inappropriate rules and regulations. for instance, Jatin who is my close friend . He was returning home from bank and a group of weaponized robbers attack on him and accidently while doing self defense jatin injured few robbers and one of them died in hospital sothat jatin is in life imprisonment now because circumstances and motivation were not taken into consideration.
Afterwards , not fixing the punishment doesnot mean not punishing the guilty . The objective of law is to save the innocent and punish the wrongdoers . Fixing the punishment for each crime will help to reduce the crime rate to some extent but due to this a serialkiller and a innocent person who murder during self defence will get same punishment so that it also contradicts the basic human rights. It becomes easy for judiciary to give punishment as they are fixed for each crime. I ma addition we are living in the twenty first century where most of people are educated and have moral knowledge and it does not suit to fix punishment for each crime.
Consequently, it can be concluded that a father who stole the grocery from store to feed his children and a robber who stole the bank shouldn’t be judged equally. There are severe motive and environment for each type of crime which must be taken into consideration and no matter what happens even a single innocent shouldn’t get punished.
Your content is satisfactory but grammar needs a lot of improvement. This seems band 6.5 to me.
Please evaluate this:
Q:The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care
system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the
best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in
the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A:
Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the health care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more sport and exercise in schools. In my opinion, I completely agree that this
is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public health in relation to weight.
Firstly, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long term approach and introducing more sport and exercise in schools. This method will ensure that the next generation will be healthier and will
not have such health problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does sport possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their otherwise sedentary lifestyle. However, by incorporating more sports classes into the
curriculum as well as encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active.
Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for children in schools will probably result in children developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and have a longer lasting effect. In other
words, parents with sporty children are more likely to get involved in sport as a way of encouraging their children. By both parents and children being involved, it will ensure that children grow up to incorporate sport into their daily lives. This is
certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public health.
In conclusion, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing sport in schools is the easiest and most effective method to use.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
good