Scientists And Technology Experts Seem To Be More Valued By Modern Society Than Musicians And Artists | Band 9 IELTS Essay Sample
Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?
Here is a band 9 IELTS essay on this topic? Need help with IELTS writing? Get your IELTS essays, letters and reports corrected by me.
Band 9 IELTS essay sample
According to some people, professionals working in the field of science and technology enjoy more respect than artists or musicians. I agree with this view and in my opinion this trend will continue unless the career prospects of artists improve.
Unlike science and technology, the art sector does not offer many employment opportunities. Actually, there are only a handful of artists who make a decent living from their profession. Most painters, singers and dancers are struggling to make both ends meet because they do not have enough platforms to showcase their talent. Art continues to be an entertainment form that people can enjoy in their leisure time and artists remain strugglers for life with no steady source of income. Despite the fact that they invested countless years for polishing their skill, many of them need another source of income to live comfortably.
By contrast, science and technology offer plenty of opportunities. New inventions emerge almost every day and students who pursue a course in science and technology have guaranteed job opportunities. Obviously, people working in these fields enjoy more respect. While it is true that it requires the same amount of hard work and dedication for a scientist and an artist to achieve recognition in their respective fields, an artist earns considerably lower than a scientist. Because of this reason, most parents discourage their children from pursuing art at university. Actually, in almost all schools, art is considered as an extracurricular activity and only about one or two hours are allocated for teaching this subject in a week. Needless to say, children grow up thinking that there is no future in arts.
In conclusion, it is true that scientists and engineers enjoy more respect than an artist. This is mainly due to the low earning potential of artists. While there are a few extremely successful singers or artists who earn exceptionally well, the vast majority of art professionals are struggling to get by. As long as this situation prevails the social standing of artists will not improve.
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Hi Mam, Please evaluate the below essay.
One good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people consider that actively organizing the International game festivals aids in global peace as they provide a platform to the conventional enemy nations also to play and create a healthy environment between them. However, I believe that sporting events have a nominal role in terms of promoting peace across the world.
There are certain positives of conducting sports in a wider canvas as it paves way to tourism raise and economic growth of the hosting nation and also the tourists can get to know the citizens. This helps in clearing their wrong perspective towards the organizing country. However, this itself is not sufficient in controlling the wars and disputes of the fellow countries. For an instance, even though Brazil Successfully organized the Soccer event few years back, it has achieved nothing in terms of maintaining a peaceful atmosphere with its rival nations.
In other words, the main factors that decrease rivalry and enhance peace are by having bi-lateral discussions, mutual co-operations and concrete agreements between the nations to suppress the terror activities. Governments from both sides needs to play a vital role in implementing the decisions that were taken to enhance global peace. For example, India and China showed considerable impact by having regular dialogues and supporting each other in every possible aspect, which in turn brought the situation back to normalcy.
To summarize, organizing bigger athletic festivals helps the hosting country to attract more number of tourists and multiple trade opportunities. When it comes to promoting peace, political discussions and well-defined treaties between the nations are required.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
Please evaluate below essay.. thanks in advance.
Due to television and the internet it is easier today for a large number of people to become famous.
Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, with the advent of digital media platforms, many enthusiastic talented people are getting popular across the globe within short span of time. This is a clear positive aspect of World wide web particularly social media, which is providing a platform to the budding talent to showcase their skills and gain fame and also helps in becoming financially stable.
Earlier days when there was no access to the internet or television, aspirants used to be dependent on the conventional methods like newspaper and radio to advertise themselves so that they gain some audience to show their talent. However, Internet and Television have changed the rules of the game and made it convenient and easier for the people by facilitating global outreach as fast as possible. To Illustrate this, the makers of Gangnam dance video who were based out of South Korea were able to gain fanbase all over the world just by uploading their content in video sharing platforms like Youtube.
In addition to this, the internet also paves a way to talented artists in earning money once they gain fame and attain celebrity status. They can easily get sponsors to support them for their upcoming projects and to take care of their well-being. This also develops the businesses of those sponsors, which is a mutual benefit. For an instance, Ranbir Kapoor after becoming successful in his acting career, endorsed with a famous E-commerce firm with which the sales of that entity were skyrocketed and they were able to gain huge profits.
To summarize, electronic media platforms like television and internet have made game easier to huge number of aspiring talent by providing a path to show their talent and also made them self-sufficient by opening various doors of opportunity across the globe.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
1- Unlike science and technology, the art sector does not offer many employment opportunities. Actually, there are only a handful of artists who make a decent living from their profession.
2-Like science and technology, the art sector does not offer many employment opportunities. Actually, there are only a handful of artists who make a decent living from their profession.
Which one of the above sentence is correct? please confirm.
The first sentence is correct. When ‘like’ goes at the beginning, it refers to the entire clause and the second sentence means that science and technology also do not offer many employment opportunities.
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?
Over the last few decades, it has become more common for children to suffer from overweight, despite it was a predominant disease on older people a few years ago. There are myriad of causes for this tendency, therefore, this essay will explore some of them and will draw some conclusions.
One of the main reasons because youngsters are facing weight problems, is that parents are upbringing them with junk food. This is largely due to the fact that nowadays parents have neither time nor energy to cook for their kids, which leads to parents taking the easiest way that is buying unhealthy food such as pizza, hamburgers and hot dogs. A research conducted by the University of Harvard found in 2018 that 70% of parents in the USA prefer to feed their sons and daughters with fast food rather than prepare a balanced meal.
One possible solution to tackle this problem is for the government to launch a publicity campaign to educate parents about the importance of cooking a proper meal. Not only will this allow to increase general awareness but also this will improve wellbeing of children as well as inhabitants. Take Japan as an example, they allocated 1% of its gross domestic product in 2019 to advertise about the danger of high-carbs food, resulting in a reduction in sales of this kind of products. This proves that the more we know, the more healthy we can lead our lives.
To sum up, there are many causes for young people being obese, this is mainly due to the lack of time and energy of their parents. For the aforementioned reason, unless the government does not take urgent action like educate its citizens, the problem will worsen.
This seems band 6 to me.
Please evaluate my essay,
Topic: Restoration of old buildings involves enormous expenditure. Some people believe that this money should be used to build new housing structures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today’s rate of population threaten to the basic need of human. So whenever lengthy discussion comes related to the point then debate occurs about the old and new edifices. It is partially agreed that analyzing the unplanned and outdated plan buildings should be get ground level except the case, some historic buildings to be preserved for the coming generation.
Firstly, Some of the unplanned and without basic amenities building are constructed in the main region in city. Resulting, occupying more space making main obstacle in traffic congestion and over in long time it has been made threat to human lives because of the over life span turned out. For Example, The famous Holkar Bridge in Mumbai collapsed in rainy season due to neglance of their maintenance and life period exceeded in that event several injured and died. Hence it is clear that such type of building should be ground level before happening misfortune event, instead of crate new planned infrastructure avoid traffic dilemma and utilize proper space for living needs.
Secondly, Pre historic buildings should be conserved for the tourist attraction and making history of the country . they are windows to the past. When we restore a building we area preserving our heritage and part of history of that generation. For Instance, In Maharashtra number of forts and historical telling building are preserved for the tourist attraction in a way So it is helps to boost country economy while foreigner comes to know about that place more and more. In addition, government is also attentive take part in create vigilance about culture in younger generation mind. It is helps to conserve culture and history ever and forever.
In summary, Conserving heritage history through tourist attraction contribute the country economy and ll live example for the young era ever. In Some minor cases need to demolish old one and reconstruct the well organized plan for the better utilization for the public welfare.
This seems band 6 to me.
While some people believe that science and technology professions could gain more respect, others argue that music and art has more value in today’s world. I absolutely agree that experts of science and technology fields are given more importance in present day society.
Although music and art fields are loved and enjoyed by many people, it may not be considered as a profession for various reasons. In other words, they can be a great hobby for anybody rather than a profession. Firstly, it may not give a constant income to live a complete life. Furthermore, the fear of not having a stable job with good income also could affect people’s talent. Hence, the musicians and artists may not be given a great value.
On the flip side, scientists and technologists have a lot of respect and value from the society, as they are constantly in search of innovative ideas. In other words, an amateur scientist can gain more experience within a short span of time and be recognised for even a small project by many reputed companies and reach the top eventually. Therefore, modern society never fails to give importance to these experts in this competitive world.
In conclusion, the advanced technology and science professions can help improve the day-to-day life with more research and, hence deserve to be more significant than the other fields such as music and art.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
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It is argued that people today respect people involved in science more than they do artists. Although this conviction is true to some extent, I do believe that artists are gaining in more popularity in today’s society.
To begin with, there are still some people who recognize the contributions made by brilliant minds to our lives to make them easier and better. One good example of it would be when there is a new scientific discovery or technological invention, the people responsible for them are given credits in the news, and even at times awarded with honorary medals. Another indication of how highly regarded scientists are is how much more compensation they receive than artists. It may not be common knowledge that a technical expert earns over $100,000 per annum on average which adds up to a significantly high number over time. This is decidedly better given the fact that artists tend to make varying amounts of money depending on how often they make art. Therefore, one can still assume that people in science fields receive the respect they deserve.
Despite this, I am of the opinion that artists nowadays appear to be gaining more attention from the public than technical experts. This is because people involved in arts, such as singers, actors, choreographers, and composers, seem to have more influence over people than scientists. It is often the case that when an announcement is made by an artist, common people take it more seriously than they would if it was done by an expert. The recent pandemic has shown us that people were more convinced of the severity of the situation when artist celebrities urged them to wear a mask and comply with health guidelines. Moreover, the growing popularity of social media platforms has led people to learn and know more about artists, making them more respected and understood than scientists.
In conclusion, in spite of the arguments presented in favor of how much scientists are appreciated today, I choose to believe that artists are receiving more attention and respect from the public.
This seems band 6.5 to me.
Hi manjusha, would you kindly grade my essay? thank you.
2. Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, innovators are considered to be more respected than artists. It is true in a sense that they create something that is beneficial for humankind whether it is medical invention or technical innovation. Although we may live longer with the new medical breakthrough and innovation, our lives will be dull without entertainment. As such, I believe that being in art should be acknowledged for their hard work and creativity, as well.
Firstly, it takes years of education and practices to become a scientist and after many researches, one can finally develop a groundbreaking invention which completely change the era. A marvelous example is a recent invention of Covid-19 vaccine which saves many lives all over the world. If scientists and tech savvy advance our living standard, music and arts provide inner peace. We are living in a rapidly changing world where we have to always prepare for any changes that come to our way. Music and arts help us get out of this stressful world and see another side of it which is full with peace and tranquility.
Moreover, they are also judged by their income. Not only do the scientists and technical experts make a fortune after their breakthrough project, but their endowment begins from the start of the project. In case of entertainment industry, the fortune begins after their masterpiece. We cannot say who is more appreciated between Leonardo DaVinci and Alexandra Flemings. They are both very respectable in their fields.
In conclusion, despite the efforts they need to put on making a dent in their respective industry, both the innovators and entertainers are respected in their own way.
Overall, ideas are okay but both grammar and presentation need improvement. This is close to band 7.