Band 8 sample essay: Nations should cooperate with one another to solve environmental problems

Here is an essay submitted by one of our students.

Nations should cooperate with one another to solve environmental problems. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Sample response

Human’s economic and industrial activities have had a negative impact on the environment. Since every country has contributed in (should be ‘to’) the deterioration of Mother Nature, every nation ought to play a part in the attempt of controlling (should be ‘to control) damage caused by human activity. However, many countries are still refraining from joining such a co-operation.

Environment is the concern of everyone. Since human’s existence depends upon a clean environment, we must tackle its problems together. Otherwise, ignoring the negative impact of human’s activity on the environment would ultimately lead to a disaster that can never be contained. At that point the damage would be irreversible and our own existence will become under threat. Fortunately, countries around the world have demonstrated a high level of co-operation that is embodied in the Kyoto protocol. Such a protocol compels signatory countries to greatly reduce its (should be ‘their’) greenhouse emissions.

However, many countries do not seem to show a genuine intention to co-operate. The United states view any attempt to compromise the volume of its economy to be a vicious attack on its economic progress and political influence. Thus, countries such as the US are reluctant to join any environmental co-operation scheme; (this semicolon should be removed) fearing that it would compel the US to with new requirements at the expense of its astounding industrial base.

To sum up, I believe that the environment is the case of everyone and its problems ought to be tackled together. Failure to do so will result in a disaster with dire consequences that may jeopardize our own existence. After all, we want economic prosperity that is not at the expense of the environment.

Analysis

This is a good essay. Task completion is okay. Nonetheless, there are some grammar mistakes in this essay. The student seems to have difficulty using prepositions correctly.

Overall, this seems to be a band 7.5 – 8 essay.

 

Manjusha Nambiar

Hi, I'm Manjusha. This is my blog where I give IELTS preparation tips.

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