Band 8 essay sample: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment

IELTS essay task

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Student’s response

It is generally observed that criminals indulge in more legal offenses after being punished the first time. This is a result of improper legal system, which has a negative effect on the defected mentality that wrongdoers have in the first place. Therefore, rehabilitation measures need to be taken to remedy offender’s miss-calculations.

The reason people who are found guilty continue to breach the law once and again is their exacerbated negative state of mind. In other words, the negative psychological state which cases them to go against the legal framework in the first place is not only still existence, but it is even more entrenched after they are humiliated and punished. In most cases, people offend due to the feeling of self-worthlessness, despair or greed. In my opinion, the current reckless and brutal punishment scheme, characterized by humiliation, isolation and low social interaction, contributes to growing these traits, which instigates them to commit more illegal actions.

There are various measures that can be taken to deal with this issue. First, it is crucial to identify the negative feelings that caused the illegal action. After identifying the root cause of the offender’s action, trained psychological therapist can design a tailored program to remedy such thoughts.

In fact, the decision to attempt a crime is no different than one to commit suicide. Both may lead to consequences of different magnitude, but they both stem from negative states of mind. Therefore, people who perform criminal actions need to undergo similar therapies as those who think of taking their own lives away.  For example, in Denmark prisons have a very constructive system, where prisoners get to learn about healthy living habits, while being treated with respect. This has had tremendous results, and most Danish citizens who commit crimes, refrain from doing so after serving their sentence in prison.

In short, the conventional imprisonment system is more destructive to criminals that it is constructive. It is then apt for governments to start dealing with psychological faults that causes people to enact illegal actions.

Manjusha Nambiar

Hi, I'm Manjusha. This is my blog where I give IELTS preparation tips.

2 Responses

  1. Sandy says:

    Are u sure if we will write this essay we take 8 band.

    • ielts practice says:

      I will never advise you to learn these essays by heart. These are samples rated by our teachers. All band score predictions are approximate.

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